I 'm sitting at work (really, just sitting here) thinking about my inaugural SD Bay adventure on Wednesday with Richard Cullip and my new baby, Miss Outcast Trinity float tube.
I've NEVER had a float tube before. In fact, I've always said that I would NEVER be caught in one. There are reasons for this. The first (and biggest) reason is because I could never think of a worse way to die other than drowning. That's right. I've always been afraid of drowning.
Back in 2005 I gave a small lecture on the Golden Trout Wilderness to a bunch of fellow fly casters up at the Kern River. As payment, I got a day trip on the Kern, guided by our dear friend Barrie Mann. "Okay, what will I need to bring?" Barrie told me that my SPL ultralight collection wasn't going to be of any help on the Kern and that he would gift me the use of one of his Kern River set-ups. I've never "borrowed" anyones gear in my life, and this jaunt was to be no different. I jumped on eBay and bought a nice little Orv...Orv...(I cant even come to terms with saying it much less admitting it) 5wt and Orv...Orv... (damm !!) reel. I was also told that I had better have some chest-highs to go along with it, so I bought some nice Cabelas boot-foot chest waders with felt soles. Look, I'd always wet-waded wherever I fly fished; Sierras, Montana, wherever. This was NOT cool with me.
In no time I was up to my neck in cold Kern water. I was literally boulder-hopping huge rocks that were submerged maybe four feet under the water - oh ya, slick with algae, too. So I'm guessing the water there was actually 7 or 8 feet deep without the assistance of the boulders. Anyway, I slipped. I knew to tighten the heck out of my waist belt so no water could fill up my waders. Scared dipless, I somehow I made it to the preferred spot in the middle of the river. I also remember how nauseated I was thinking that I could have easily gone under - or downstream - or both. Now the question - how was I going to get back?
Trauma freaks me out. Death by drowning is a bad way to go. I'm not a good player in this game. So I'm sitting here at work (again - and by the way, I work in 911) and I have all these awful scenarios playing out in my head because I get to HEAR and watch so many water scenarios go down every day.
Why am I thinking about all this? Maybe because I want to have a game plan for anything that could happen. Mr. Safety, that's me !! That's not a bad thing is it? But what if I lose my prescription sunglasses (I have no idea where my cool, multi-colored glasses retaining strap is). What if some boat comes zipping along and takes me off at the head? What if a big bad shark (Sharknado - I NEVER go small) has unknowingly entered SD Bay and has honed-in on my fat, tasty-sounding black flippers (that remarkably resemble the flippers of a seal)? What if I get hung-up in a huge cluster of grass or seaweed and cant get out? I know... I'll use my knife to cut myself free!... But what if I accidentally drop my knife in the drink then my legs become entangled even more? I know... I'll use my whistle - the one that's attached to my camera lanyard specifically for this trip? Then I'm
totally screwed, right? Here's the big one... What if my tube springs a leak and I have to use the manual pull my expensive new MIT 100 vest that a brother Addict turned me on to...but the cartridge fails to fire and I slowly get dragged into the inky depths by water weight - AND no one can see my strobe light flashing (yes, I bought a strobe to attach to my tube for greater visibility to vessels)? Worse yet, what if my partner is so busy catching fish that he doesn't see that I'm in trouble?
Good swimmer or not - and I am a really good swimmer (water polo, lifeguard, paramedic services and all that jazz), there's something to be said about bouncing around in an air-filled bladder on water deeper than a few feet - that has gotten the best of my psyche.
So please Lord, just let my first cast get banged by something SO BIG that it takes my mind off all the (horrible) possibilities. Has anyone else ever experienced this mind game with their first float experience or is it just me?