CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

[stanbery]

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
P.S. Remember this motto ... An armed society makes for a more civil society!

[WanderingBlues]

[fly addict]

Jon,
Are you harassing muggers again? You know they are an important part of today’s society. Without them there would be no reason to have to carry a gun!

Mark

[RichardCullip]

Sweet!

[rkfiske]

Strangely enough I find myself wishing this story was true

[Eric]

Thanks Jon!!!! that was a good one
Eric

[Rockstar Fisherman]

It could happen in Palmdale

[midger]

[anacrime]

This is why we should all carried concealed weapons at all times wherever we go. Who knows when you'll have to shoot someone in the face over a jacket.

[castaway]

Someone should tell the "thugs" that they really dont need to shoot the people they want to rob.

If I worked at a 7-11 - and someone came in to rob me... I would say "Look, they pay me 9 dollars an hour... take whatever the * you want, I really dont give a crap, I will even close my eyes - I have no idea what you look like"

Same with my car, my jacket, my shoes... I really dont give a crap... just take the crap and get on down the road.. just let me live to fish again!

This is why I could never be a cop (I have the highest level of respect for those who do!) - I am not risking my life for some punk jumping fences... I am always going home after a day of work. Thank god there are people out there who risk it all.... its just not me.

I have lost friends to war, as well as street warfare here at home (cops)... I just cant risk it.

[BradW]

HeHeHe.....

[Hatch71]

Dude that was awsome!!! Being a 1911 Kimber man myself what type of 1911 was my next question!!!! Has anyone seen this. William Shatner had it best watch this link....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0D78JtxmqI&feature=player_embedded

[Benny]

Quite an amusing story

[FlyinFish]

It could happen in Palmdale

Dude, let's be honest... there are no Burberry coats in Palmdale...

* hath no fury like a woman scorned and ain't no scorned woman that hath the fury of a fishermen when his gear has been stolen!

[duckdog]

that was a hoot . there is nothing like haveing a gun pointed at your head to make you re-think your priorities. the hole at the end of that barrel is ENORMOUS when it's 12 inches from your head. i worked the graveyard shift at a gas station in n.y. as a yoot , you can look at a hand gun that you are holding and the hole at the end of the barrel doesn't look all that big. when the guy holding the gun is not you and it's some bug eyed , malnurished,sweaty scank, that hole looks like you could fit a boat full of somali pirate's in it .--- sorry-- side trip down memory lane, i apologize for the hijacking.--- mike.