In my time on the river I have noticed some patterns of in my fellow anglers. While not a complete list, you can put most fishermen in to three groups:
1) Dorks- AKA. Dorkus Molurkus
This knowledgeable group of fishermen can not only tell you the right fly to tie on your line but can tell you (in great detail) the etymology of the hatch that your matching, the latin name of said bug, its complete life cycle and its mother's maiden name. These fisherman often take what is inherently a difficult sport and make it more difficult by sitting nearly motionless for hours and transforming a ball of fuzz in to a tiny little work of art that a fish might want to eat. While these high IQ individuals could use their collective intellect for the betterment of society, they spend the majority of their time trying to figure out exactly what it is that a fish thinks about.
2) Doctors- AKA. Orvis Sageaholics
I call this group doctors because they are, in fact, often doctors. (Although there are quite a few dentists and lawyers.) This group is drawn to fly fishing because they suck at golf. You can spot a member of this group by their brand new waders, creased shirts (which are often pink), and those ridiculous sun hats that you get from gardening catalogs. They carry 14 rods of varying size and weight perfect to match any condition from hurricane on the coast to a foot wide spring creek in the mountains. Their fly boxes are stocked with every fly ever imagined from the brain of man, however they sadly never see the water because they would never dream of fishing with out a guide. This sporty group may not catch a lot of fish but they look good doing it. While they keep the custom rod manufacturers in business the dirty secret is fishing is simply an excuse to drink scotch and feel superior to all their buddies that play golf.
3) Dudes- AKA. Trout Bumalufugus
The polar opposite of the Doctor set, you can often spot a Dude because at least one piece of gear has been repaired using duct tape. While Dudes often have poor personal hygiene they are skilled anglers that can drink, smoke, make fun of their friends and farmer blow while landing a 22 inch brown trout with out a net. They have a hard time tying their shoe laces but can tie a nail knot in .75 seconds. While this fun loving group is usually the last out of the bar the night before, they are rigged up and have caught four fish by the time you get your waders on. While trout Dudes are just about everywhere people fly fish they seem to congregate in Western Montana. I think it has something to do with proximity of bars to world class fishing but I can't be sure.
Hope I accurately captured the three groups. . . did I miss something? Let me know.
Cheers,
Chris@dryf.ly
made me laugh.
Jon
